We don’t use mirrors here at the monastery. We aren’t supposed to focus on ourselves, at least not in any way where a mirror would help. Besides, we don’t need mirrors. If my coif is askew or my veil came untucked, one of the nuns will come up to me, stop me and tuck the veil in under my scapular or twitch my coif into place. And I can walk on, knowing that I look adequately neat.
It’s very much what C.S. Lewis was portraying in “That Hideous Strength”, when he described the four women choosing their clothes in preparation for the victory dinner. Three of the women in turn chose what they knew would be the perfect dress for the fourth. None of the women could see what she herself looked like.
“Isn’t that like a man!” exclaimed Mrs. Dimble. “There’s not a mirror in the room.”
“I don’t believe we were meant to see ourselves,” said Jane. “He said something about being mirrors enough to see another.”[i]
In fact, as each woman put on the clothes chosen by the others, she saw in their reactions an awe and amazement that made her realize her own mysterious beauty.
I use the phrase “mysterious beauty” because a statement attributed to St. Catherine of Siena says that “If you could see a soul in the state of grace, you would think that you were seeing God.” Thomas Merton, with his Louisville experience, and Caryl Houselander in the London subway, had similar insights.[ii] We are created in the image of God, in the image of infinite beauty and glory. We may believe this, but do we realize what it means in our own life? I can look at myself in a mirror but do I see God’s grace at work transforming me into glory? If I did, how would I react?
A mirror shows an image of my outward appearance.[iii] But a mirror does not give an exact image: it flips the image of myself so that what I see in the mirror is a reversed image to the reality. My expression can say something of what I feel at the moment, but what I feel about looking at myself does not necessarily correspond to what I truly am. My feelings about myself can influence what I perceive in the mirror, and by influencing it, the mirror image can reinforce those feelings. If I am not feeling good about myself, the view in the mirror will make my negative idea of myself even stronger. If, on the contrary, I have a good feeling about myself, what I see in the mirror will confirm that positive view. Maria’s song in “West Side Story”, “I Feel Pretty,” expresses this well.
I can go beyond what I see in the mirror. I can create in my mind an image of what I am, or at least what I choose to think that I am. The only limits here are the horizons of my imagination. In my mind, I can become anything I want. This image can overtake the reality. Caryl Houslander mentioned in a letter that she had visited an asylum, and “had met three queens”. If I remember correctly, two were the queen of England, and the third was the queen of the universe. By recreating myself in my imagination, I lose contact with reality, and not only my own reality. I lose the ability to connect with any reality, including the reality of other people.
This ability to lose myself in the vast unknown of my own imagination is very tempting. It is what tempted Eve in the Garden of Eden, and we continue to see its effects in an individualism that says, “I am what I choose to be”. Yet, for those of us who believe that we are created in the image of God, anything that I choose to be is less than what I can truly be. My imagination is limited, and that sets the horizon of my choices. I cannot imagine something that I have not in some way experienced. I can only take what I know and put it together in a different way.
Yet, as Catholics, we believe that we are called to be far more than we can think. “Beloved, we are God’s children now; what we will be has not yet been revealed. What we do know is this: when he is revealed, we will be like him, for we will see him as he is.”[iv] We are so used to hearing these words, that they make no impact on us. I remember when I was in 7th grade, Sister taught us that we share in God’s nature by sanctifying grace. All during recess, I struggled with this. “Does she realize what she is saying? If she does, how can she say it so calmly? That’s mind-blowing!”
It is mind-blowing! We believe that we are created in the image of God, and when we live what we believe, we are changed beyond all that we can conceive. “The human being is an animal who has received the vocation to become God.”[v]
We are in the season of Easter, when we celebrate the paschal mystery of Jesus’ passion, death and resurrection. It is a glorious mystery, but it is just the beginning of the full mystery, for His resurrection and life in a glorified state is not only His mystery but also our mystery. As St. Athanasius wrote, “God became man so that man might become god”.[vi]
We can decide what we want to be, and the most glorious choice we can make is to choose to be what He made us to be: one with Himself. “The Incarnation makes no sense without the corresponding doctrine of our divinization.”[vii]
[i] C. S. Lewis, “That Hideous Strength”, chap. 17, “Venus at St. Anne’s”
[ii] https://www.thetablet.co.uk/blogs/seeing-people-through-the-vision-of-faith-received-at-baptism/
[iii] https://www.inyouths.com/blogs/inyouths-blogs/are-mirrors-accurate-in-reflecting-on-how-you-look?srsltid=AfmBOooyl245NNIlwC168vXe9qhIVMQuV8PHBvupnx0myJUxRt2SS4FR
[iv] 1 Jn 3, 2
[v] Words of Basil of Caesarea quoted by Gregory Nazianzen, “Eulogy of Basil the Great Oration 43”, 48, [PG 36, 560]
[vi] “On the Incarnation”, 54,3
[vii] Michael Casey, OCSO, “Fully Human, Fully Divine – An Interactive Christology”, Liguori/Triumph, Liguori, Missouri, 2004, p. 8